The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified,   well-dressed
  good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.

"May I help you?" she a asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
>>>
>>> "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you
would
>>> prefer someone else," said the madam.
>>>
>>> "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.
>>>
>>> Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she
charged
>>> $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten
one-hundred
>>> dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
>>>
>>> After an hour, the man calmly left .
>>>
>>> The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see
Valerie.
>>>
>>> Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a
>>> row--too
>>> expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still
>> $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and 
they
>> went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
>>>
>>> The following night the man  was there again. Everyone was
astounded
>>> that
>>> he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie
and
>>> they
>>> went upstairs.
>>>
>>> After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever
been
>>> with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
>>>
>>> The man replied, "South Carolina.""Really" she said. "I have family
in
>>> South Carolina."
>>>
>>> "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's
>>> attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."
>>>
>>> The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that
are
>>> certain:
>>>
>>> 1. Death
>>>
>>> 2. Taxes
>>>
>>> 3. Being screwed by a lawyer

   My good friend Tony sent me this, most of us have heard it before or something like it but was very appropriate for me since I just had my shorts handed to me by a lawyer and a judge.  You see I bought an office building that was mis- represented to be zoned for ANY OFFICE USE and found out after the fact that it can only be used by doctors.  Well, from my point of view that limits the number of tenants I can find and resricts how much rent I can charge. You see there are only 24 doctors in Bay St. Louis and about 200 plus lawyers, accountants, and so on... at least.

  Not to mention that the appraiser I hired and paid $2,000 to to tell me all about the value and the use of the building totally screwed up and did not discover the zoning was not what it was represented to be.  SO, I visited an attorney, showed him the paperwork, explained to him that I  had been hung out to dry before by attorneys and I did not want to pursue this unless it was an open and shut case.  He got all excited, said that it was a dead lock and so for the last two years I have been suing the brokers who told me it was zoned general commercial and the appraiser who did not do his job.  Last week a judge decided I did not have a case and tossed it out the door.  This week I get a bill for 12 big ones.